Time2Believe... The Battle is Real.

Ever run through life until you stop and wonder... "How did I get here?"

I have been experiencing this lately. Growing up I heard all the Bible verses and was constantly reminded that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I accepted the kind words and went on my way. As I began to get older, my girlfriends struggled with their self-image and I would encourage them by saying, "you are fearfully and wonderfully made" and then I would be on my way. As I began to struggle with my own self image, "fearfully and wonderfully made" became my slogan. Do you know the definition of slogan? Well here it is,


slo·gan   /ˈslōgən/

Noun

A short and striking or memorable phrase used in advertising.

Advertising? What am I advertising? When I first saw this word, I immediately knew what it meant in my life. I was advertising my fake happiness with who I was and how I looked. It amazes me how long I could just simply quote Psalm 139:14 without believing it at all. When I realized that I did not believe it, I felt ashamed because for crying out loud it's the Word of God. I have been taught that it is the truth... but what does that mean to me? I want to write this article to encourage others. I want to be able to say I have struggled and God brought me through and I am doing great... but that would not be 100% honest. Most days are a battle. Why is it so hard to believe God when He tells us that we are beautiful? Why does Satan have such control in my life through the two things I have come to fight... the mirror and the scale? Most of the time I am very thankful that no one can hear the fight that goes on in my head. The constant comparing, belittling, and negativity. I knew that my self-image was a battle but I felt like if I laughed it off or just ignored it, then it would go away. I was deeply mistaken. When I started to clean out the cut, it was dirty and extremely painful. Satan got me right where he wanted me... discouraged, in denial, and plain out angry. When he gets you in this situation you have two options: 1. Stay where you are... which leads to more darkness. 2. Cry out to Jesus and tell Him that you need Him like never before and pray that He pulls you out of Satan's trap. I thankfully chose #2. I need Him everyday, because like I said, EVERYDAY IS A BATTLE. As a believer, I kind of thought that God would just heal me on the spot. What I never considered was a healing process. I am on a healing journey with Christ. There are things I need to let go of before I can move on. I need to start waking up being more worried about pleasing my Heavenly Father than pleasing those around me. I am still quoting 139 and each day I truly do believe what it means more than the day before, because God is revealing that my worth and beauty is not based on the mirror or the scale. Those things make me feel good and make me feel more attractive, but who am I trying to attract? And why? I really wish that I could end this with answers to all the self-image questions that most of us struggle with... but instead I am going to be honest and say that tomorrow morning when I take that first look in the mirror and see my crazy hair and rub my eyes... I will smile because I know that God loves me no matter how I feel about myself. He is not leaving me on this journey. Tomorrow is another step closer to feeling fearfully and wonderfully made.  

If you struggle with self image or have questions/comments about this topic please comment below or email me @ morgan.towle0@gmail.com. Everything will be kept confidential. Don't try to fight your battle on your own... that is another lie of the Devil. 

Love you all & running this life race with you!

Sincerely, 

 Your sister in Christ

Morgan