Time2Believe... In Truth

As women, we grow up believing in hopes, dreams, and happily ever after. But as we get older our beliefs begin to change. I will sadly say this has happened in my life. As a child, I believed that I was beautiful and was happy to be me. The world's influence is so strong and I thought that I could continue to fight the secular culture battle on my own. I was so far from being right. I began to feel hopeless and disappointed in who I was. It wasn't until I realized that I needed Him to fight my battles for me, that I began to feel that I was enough. Holy Gerth has a great article about being enough and you can find it at http://www.holleygerth.com/heart-to-heart-with-holley/2011/10/4/you-are-enough.html#comments. I just pray that every girl will realize her potential and find her worth in Christ alone.

On a Personal Note....

This week is filled with mixed emotions. My baby sister and younger cousin are graduating from Spaulding High School. My sister has had an amazing past 4 years, playing basketball, soccer, and succeeding in her academics. I am so very proud of her and the woman she is today. My younger cousin Jared, has also had a great past 4 years, but he has no idea that he is graduating and what that means. Jared is autistic and probably the greatest thing about my family. I get teary eyed just writing this blog. I am proud of my sister, but there is something special in my heart for Jared. I remember the times he would throw things out the car window, pinch, and bite. But he's all grown up now. He still acts like a child, but I see a man when I look in his eyes. People look at Jared and under-estamite him. He loves, not through words but through feelings. This is shown when his parents are away on vacation and he anxiously awaits their arrival. Some may say that he is just upset that his routine is changed, but I beg to differ. He misses his family when they leave. It's Jared's random laughter that makes my heart explode with joy. As he looks at his dad across the room waiting for him to tickle him, his smile is priceless. It's the look he gives his mom when she grabs a bite of his food, that makes me thankful to be part of his life. Other families feel bad that we have a family member with a disability, when in reality I feel bad that we have an extra blessing. Don't get me wrong there have been hard times and many tears, but this week is showing me that is all worth it.

Since September of this year, I have had the opportunity to work with Jared every Monday after school. I explained to my mom, that it brings me joy when working with Jared because he reminds me of God. When I was little Jared scared me because of his actions. I got frustrated because I could not understand what Jared wanted. I soon realized that these emotion were directly related to my relationship with God. I was scared of God because He was so big and powerful. I was also frustrated when reading God's word, because I could never figure out how it applied to my life. But Jared really opened my eyes to God and His TRUE character. The more time I spent with Jared the less I was scared of him. While doing things with Jared and getting to know him, I can now say that he doesn't have to use words all the time for me to know what he wants.... Because I know him. And the same thing happened as I spent time in God's word. I was no longer scared in a bad way, but scared in reverence.  I don't have to hear direct words from God in order to know what He wants from me. As I spend more time with Him, I believe He will show me what He wants.  I know that God and Jared are close. I'm believe that Jared talks to Jesus all the time. There is freedom in Jared's life and because of that, I strive to have more freedom in mine.

If I could talk to Jared in a way that he truly understood, this is what I would say.

Dear Jared,
   It's been a crazy ride, but you are graduating on Friday! I am so proud of you. Thanks for all the fun times... I look forward to many more. I know you love me because you joke around with me like Jord and Alex. Only you do it by choosing Jalapeno Poppers for dinner every Monday night, even though I don't like them :) The label special has been placed on you for your disability but believe me special doesn't come close to describing you. You are creative, loving, and funny. I am so blessed to be your cousin. I hope you know how much I love you. My life has been changed for the better because of you. Thanks for being you.

Lots and lots of love,
   Morgan

Where are we???

Hello?? Hello?? Are there any Christians out there? NOW IS YOUR TIME! NOW, RIGHT NOW...NOT TOMORROW! We have a tendency to push witnessing opportunities aside. God just needs us to be willing. It is not our words, but His words that will heal, restore and save. It's the quiet boy in your 5th period that needs you. It's the co-worker at work who is desperately searching for Christ that needs you. Souls are crying out! But are we listening??? Time is short and people are counting on us to stand strong in our faith! Sin is suffocating the world. People are gasping for air... the air of truth and freedom. We have been set free yet some of our lives do not show it. Get real about your faith. I am speaking boldly because I feel the Lord has placed this message on my heart. It's time we wake up and stop pretending that it is all about Sunday morning. It's about every second. Stop wasting time. After writing this I found this video that sums everything up perfectly. Check it out and comment below about what you think.

I will NOT be destroyed.

Satan is so much stronger than any of us give him credit for. He knows our weaknesses, our struggles and our past sins. Satan cannot take God's destiny from you, but you can open your hands and give your destiny away. So Satan places people and situations in our lives to make us question God and His destiny for our life. Satan can strip your outward appearance, he can take away the things that you believe define you. But he cannot strip your inward person. It is time2believe in who we are in Christ. For it is in Christ that we are defined. God wants all compromise out of our lives. It is time to get out of compromising situations and RUN!. The Bible says to flee from all evil. If Satan can get you to give up, quit, or believe it's all hopeless he wins! You need to stand strong. We serve an all-powerful God who longs to meet with us and show us His destiny for our lives. It is important to remember that our timing is not God's timing. It's in God's timing that you will do the most for His kingdom. It is in His timing that you will do the most amazing things in His name. Satan cannot rob you but he can create hardship and doubt in your life that will lead you to willingly let go of your God written destiny. The harvest is coming and now is the time for Christians to be trained. For when the harvest comes it will be too late for training. In my head I see a trumpet being blown, calling all generations to come out from hiding and walk the streets to show how strong and determined God's children are. I don't know about you but I am ready to fight. Now is the time to dress in the armor of God. WE NEED TO BE PREPARED SO THAT WE ARE NOT OVERWHELMED. God has placed people and resources in our life to prepare us.  Do not be afraid to stand out, stand up, and stand strong. For nothing is impossible with God. You tell Satan there is NO room for him in God's destiny for your life. He can take all of his schemes back because they will only encourage you to push through stronger and grab hold of God's promises just for you. I am so humbled because I have known Christ for over 14 years and I still don't let His power rule my life completely. It's time for my fear, my doubt, my hopelessness to stop robbing my faith and let my passion and love for Jesus Christ start operating my faith. BE PREPARED... BECAUSE DOOR ARE GOING TO OPEN.

I am not okay

In the past few months

“Hey Morgan, How are you??

(In my head…I am not okay.) Oh hi! I’m great how are you???

I am not okay. Those are words that I NEVER NEVER thought I could say. But in the past few months that is how I have felt. Sometimes, it seems that as a confident woman you can never be weak. These past months have been the worst I have ever experienced. I have felt anger, pity, frustration, jealously, and confusion. But I have yet to confess these feelings and thoughts.  As a Christian looking back, I know that I should have turned to God, but instead I turned to rebellion. I now look back and realize the attitude and outlook that I had, only gave Satan more glory. BUT what I want to make clear is what I have learned. Our God does know what is best for us and sometimes what is best for us is not easy. I do believe that the trials in life give birth to opportunities of praising God. As the band Tree 63 sings, “God gives and takes away”. I sure do like it better when He gives… but I do appreciate when He takes away because it’s out of love. My life still seems out of control to me, but maybe that is because this way I have no confidence that I can run it all by myself. Instead I have to utterly and completely rely on God. I have to remember that my whole life is in His hands. He does know best… He does know best…. He does know best (and no this is not a typo, I have to remind myself of this very often.) I just want to tell other girls out there, you don’t have to always be strong. You might feel like a real life super hero… but that feeling doesn’t last long. It’s more about the nights where you cry yourself to sleep or when you paste the “I’m fine” smile on your face. I feel your pain. I know how hard it is to keep it up. In my head I grew up as “Little Miss Goodie Goodie” so I could not do anything wrong. I needed to be the friend who was there for everyone. But it was not up to them to be there for me. That would be a burden. Well girls that is a COMPLETE lie!! I should have reached out and shared my struggles with others. Romans 3:23 says, “For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”. Haha I have read it over and over and it does not say, “For all have sinned (except Morgan Towle) and fallen short of the glory of God”. So I am right there with everyone else. And so are you!! It’s okay though because as believers in Jesus Christ we have been forgiven!!

To wrap this up, I want to say… first recognize you like everyone else sins and then remember that it is not healthy to keep every hardship to yourself. Reach out to a friend, mentor, or even your parents. (God gave them to you for times just like these and believe it or not they have probably been in the same spot as you). Also as you share with your friends it will create a bond within your relationship that says, “it’s okay to be NOT OKAY”.